Trash Or Terror Tuesday: Miner’s Massacre (2002)

It’s time for #TrashOrTerrorTuesday

…when I examine a film that’s been languishing in my personal library to determine if it is #Trash or #Terror

– or more importantly, if it deserves to stay in my collection.

And so, out from the dusty shelves of #VHS tapes & DVDs comes…

DVD box art for Miner's Massacre (2002)Miner’s Massacre AKA  Curse of the Forty-Niner (2002) by #JohnCarlBuechler

w/#KarenBlack #JohnPhillipLaw #RichardLynch #VernonWells #MartinKove #JeffConaway

A group of friends take gold from an old mine and awaken a long dead miner Hell Bent on protecting his treasure.

“They Axed For It!”

#Horror #Slasher
#TrashOrTerrorTuesday

A friend of mine worked for a website reviewing DVDs. Apparently, he did it to get a bunch of free DVDs mailed out to him on a regular basis. He told me I should get in on it, but somehow I never did. One of the movies he received and reviewed was Miner’s Massacre (2002). – and he told me about it one day.

“Is it worth watching?” I asked him.

“Oh, yeah!” he said with a glint in his eye.

I got the impression that he thought it was a bad movie, but a “so-bad-it’s-good” bad movie. He knew I liked that sort of thing, so I guess he figured that he was giving me a hot tip. He didn’t lend me his DVD, oddly enough. But I guess at that point we were only seeing each other once in while – if we happened to bump into each other at a party or event. He may not have wanted to risk losing his precious copy (for which he’d paid nothing).

A couple of years later I found a copy of Miner’s Massacre in a bargain bin somewhere and, recalling my friend’s ringing endorsement, I bought it. I guess I must have enjoyed it enough to put it onto my movie shelf – where it has remained collecting dust ever since. Honestly, I couldn’t remember a thing about it. So, I decided that it was time to put it to the #TrashOrTerrorTuesday test.

It’s basically an old school slasher film directed by John Carl Buechler, who made Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) and about 17 other movies. He is more known for his special effects work. Miner’s Massacre is inferior in every way to any Friday the 13th movie. It tries to create a supernatural killer, like Jason, but doesn’t do as good a job setting him up and making him scary. He seems more campy and ridiculous most of the time. We also see him right away, so we know he’s the killer. There’s no mystery, like even the original Friday the 13th had. That would be okay if he was scary like Michael Myers, but he’s not. 

There’s an amazing cast of well known supporting actors in Miner’s Massacre. Unfortunately, they are all wasted. It’s pretty evident that they are there just to provide some names that can be used to promote the movie. many of them just have one scene – some of which are completely unnecessary and do nothing to move the story forward. 

So what’s the verdict?

Miner’s Massacre (2002) is Trash. It doesn’t work as a serious slasher film. It’s not scary or suspenseful. It also isn’t quite bad enough to be “so-bad-it’s-good”. The ridiculous misuse of the famous actors could almost qualify it, but not quite. It does have a tiny bit of sleaze in it, but not enough to make it worth sitting through. Perhaps those who’ve seen fewer bad movies than I have may be amused enough to declare it “so-bad-it’s-good”. Maybe I even did myself when I first saw it almost 20 years ago. But now, it just seems bad.

For a much, much better miner’s massacre, stick to My Bloody Valentine (1981) – or even My Bloody Valentine (2009), which has a much higher sleaze factor and is in 3D! They are both well worth repeat viewings – and are much better slasher films than Miner’s Massacre (2002). 

Trash Or Terror Tuesday: Psycho Cop 2 / Psycho Cop Returns (1993)

It’s time for #TrashOrTerrorTuesday

…when I examine a film that’s been languishing in my personal library to determine if it is #Trash or #Terror

– or more importantly, if it deserves to stay in my collection.

And so, out from the dusty shelves of #VHS tapes comes…

VHS box for Psycho Cop 2 (1993)Psycho Cop 2 / Psycho Cop Returns (1993) by #AdamRifkin

w/ #RobertRShafer #BarbaraNiven #JulieStrain

A psycho cop decides to kill everyone who he thinks has broken the law.

“Something old, something new, someone bloody… and the man in blue!”

#Horror
#TrashOrTerrorTuesday

 

Confession: I’ve never seen the first Psycho Cop (1989) movie. I’ve always imagined that it was a ripoff of Maniac Cop (1988). Someone gave me an old VHS copy of Psycho Cop 2 (1993) back in the late ’90s. Truth be told it was a former video store owner who had closed up shop and was getting rid of old tapes. How could I not do my part to help? I brought home a boxful of ’90s movies that I’d never seen before. Most of them were trash, but I remembered enjoying this one quite a bit and adding it to my personal library. Fast forward a couple of decades and I really couldn’t remember much about it. I’d enjoyed seeing it on my shelf over the years, but for some reason I’d never had the urge to revisit it. Last week I decided that it was time to put it to the #TrashOrTerrorTuesday test…

Psycho Cop 2 (1993) – or Psycho Cop Returns as it’s sometimes called – was directed by Adam Rifkin, who made films like Detroit Rock City (1999), The Chase (1994) and one of the segments in the awesome anthology Chillerama (2011). He also made a pretty nifty film called Look (2007), which was shot entirely from the perspective of security cameras. It works surprisingly well, and should be much better known than it is – but I digress…

Psycho Cop 2 is more like a slasher film than Maniac Cop – and as anyone who knows me can attest, I love slasher films. The plot goes something like this: a bunch of office workers throw a bachelor party and a psycho cop shows up to punish anyone who is breaking the law – which is pretty much everyone, since the whole party is against the rules. There are strippers, including relative newcomer and future star Julie Strain, and there are ridiculous, gory murders. Put simply, this movie really delivers the exploitation goods – and it’s all done with tongue firmly in cheek. It’s fast paced, funny, and just plain fun.

I can’t help but notice that it gets a higher rating on the IMDb than the original Psycho Cop, and I can believe it’s a better movie. Maybe one day I’ll watch part one and find out for sure. In any case, I believe that Psycho Cop 2 is entertaining enough to warrant repeat viewings.

So what’s the verdict?

As you can probably guess, I believe that Psycho Cop 2 (1993) is #Trash of the highest order, which means that it’s #Terror to me (although I wouldn’t exactly call it scary). I use the word #Terrror interchangeably with #Treasure – and I will certainly continue to treasure my VHS copy of this movie for years to come.

Trash Or Terror Tuesday: Blood Sisters (1987)

It’s time for #TrashOrTerrorTuesday… 

…when I examine a film that’s been languishing in my personal library to determine if it is #Trash or #Terror

– or more importantly, if it deserves to stay in my collection.

And so, out from the dusty shelves of #VHS tapes comes…

Poster and VHS box for Blood Sisters (1987) by #RobertaFindlayBlood Sisters (1987) by #RobertaFindlay

Seven girls must spend the night in a creepy former whorehouse as part of an initiation.

“Sexy college girls pitted against an unspeakable power ready to prey upon their naked bodies and souls…”

#Horror #Slasher

#TrashOrTerrorTuesday

 

Confession: I’m a bit of Roberta Findley fan and, as such, there was little doubt in my mind that I would want to keep this VHS tape of Blood Sisters (1987) in my collection. Still, it had been a long time since I had watched it, and it was collecting dust, so…

Blood Sisters is a weird mix of sleazy whorehouse antics in flashbacks to the past, and current day sorority slasher movie hijinks – which, as you might guess, is of particular interest to me, since I once wrote a play called Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical. There may even be some supernatural ghost action thrown in for good measure.

So what’s the verdict?

Blood Sisters (1987) is not Roberta Findley’s best movie, but it provides enough campy entertainment and good natured sleaze to easily entertain aficionados for ninety minutes. It is somehow both #trash and #terror, and I will be keeping it in my collection to enjoy again (and again, and again)…

 

Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical

Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical
Book, Music, and Lyrics by Angus Kohm

You’ll See: Innocent young girls, cruel sorority sisters, foolish fraternity freaks, and one sadistic, insane killer stalking them all. Sound familiar? It is. But this time they sing and dance too…

Reviews:

“What do you do when you’ve got a script that tells the story of an axe-wielding madman who escapes from the loony bin and starts stalking sorority girls on a nearby college campus? Why, you make a musical, of course. Which is exactly what Winnipeg writer/ composer/ director Angus Kohm has done with Slumber Party Massacre, aHalloween-style plot delivered with a Rainbow Stage sensibility. The result is a campy, absurd musical spoof that’s found commercial and critical success beyond the cult following Kohm and co. already had in Winnipeg. And all we can say is, uh… it’s about bloody well time. Not only is Kohm worthy of praise for breathing new life into a time-worn genre (Scream notwithstanding), so is the troupe. Particularly noteworthy are the skilled veteran duo of Cassandra Williams and Stefanie Wiens, who are so adept in their competing good-girl/bad-girl roles. Let’s hope that Kohm, who poked fun at that other B-movie staple, women’s prison films, in the equally ridiculous Bad Girls Jailhouse, will keep coming back like the Michael Meyers of his craft. Five Stars!” (Highest Rating)
— Riva Harrison, The Winnipeg Sun, 1997 

“Call it magic, fringe-style. But what other explanation is there when actors start belting out the tune There’s a Severed Head in the Toilet Bowl and all the prim looking grannies in the front row start tapping their toes? And then, by the time the cast starts singing I’m a Crazy Mixed-Up Psychopathic Killer, the grannies actually look ready to jump on stage to sing along. That is the rather magical scene these days at the Manotick Fringe Festival, site of the world premiere of Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical.”
— Paul Gessell, The Ottawa Citizen

“This is the show you don’t want to miss. It’s fast, funny and macabre – just the kind of edgy fluff people expect at a fringe festival. Sweeney Todd fans will be especially pleased. A unifying, tenacious grip on just the right sense of irony makes dippy songs about things like finding a severed head in a toilet bowl absurdly funny. Prediction: Manitoba playwright/composer Angus Kohm will make serious money some day.”
– Pat Donnelly, The Montreal Gazette

“Screamingly funny and well performed. How can you go wrong with a song title like There’s a Severed Head in the Toilet Bowl? REACTION/BUZZ: “Even the corpses are singing and dancing.” “I laughed, I cried… I just about wet myself.”
– David Gobeil Taylor, The Montreal Mirror

“A wondrous little piece by Angus Kohm… it moves fast and the timing is bang on. I want the cast album!”
– Gaetan L. Charlebois, The Montreal Hour

“In a perfect world, all Fringe shows would feature at least some of the spunk and spirit of Winnipeg playwright Angus Kohm’s Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre. The Winnipeg Based B-movie fanatic, who brought his Bad Girls Jailhouse to the Toronto Fringe last year, once again shows a genius for casting and a gift for catchy tunes and good humored, ridiculous lyrics…Sorority Girls is good silly fun.”
– Kathleen M. Smith, The Toronto Eye

“Oh what the hell.”
– Jason Sherman, Toronto Life

“This is one of the must-see shows of the festival… like Andrew Lloyd Webber staging Halloween.Kohm’s lyrics draw hoots of laughter… There’s a Severed Head in the Toilet Bowl appears destined to become Kohm’s signature song. Five Stars!” – (highest rating)
– Kevin Prokosh, The Winnipeg Free Press

“Here’s a show that gives you exactly what the title promises. Yes, there are sorority girls, they do have a slumber party, there is a massacre and, incredibly, it’s all set to music. Winnipeg’s Angus Kohm is the evil genius behind it. Lyrical gems like That Madman Is Nuts pop up frequently. Only one song goes to far: There’s a Severed Head in the Toilet Bowl was just too disgusting.”
– Cam Fuller, The Saskatoon Star-Phoenix

“He’s baaa-ck!  No, not the sadistic ax murderer with a lust for the blood of nubile sorority girls, but local composer/playwright Angus Kohm, who unleashes a raucous, cutting-edge satirical attack on slasher movies. Who needs a two sided ax when you can wield cutting edge songs with razor-sharp lyrics honed to leave listeners helplessly laughing?  Sorority Girls debuted in 1997 as a kind of stage cousin to the 1996 film Scream.  Since then, the genre has been crowded by moreScreams, Scary Movies and I Know What You Did Last Summer.  Kohm still has the musical field all to himself.  Undeniably silly and violent in a cartoon-like manner, Sorority Girls stands up as a hilarious skewering of the cliche of teen slasher flicks.”
– Kevin Prokosh, The Winnipeg Free Press (2001)

“A returning Fringe fave, Sorority Girls should have been force-screened to the Wayans Brothers before they spoofed the horror genre in Scary Movie and its terrifyingly bad sequel. This is all the ammo they needed, as five local university students remind us that horror films are already effective self-parody. With rousing song-and-dance numbers such as There’s a Severed Head in the Toilet Bowl, and I Feel Like a Walk in the Basement … Alone, the musical plumbs the depths of bad taste — with hilarious results… This will be a hot ticket by the end of the week, even in the spacious Prairie Theatre Exchange.”
– The Winnipeg Sun (2001)

Performance Rights and Other Details For Potential Producers:

Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical
A one act musical comedy;
Cast Size: 5 Actors (4 Female, 1 Male);
NOTE: The show was designed for 5 actors doubling as more than one character. It is also perfectly acceptable to cast more than 5 actors and reduce (or eliminate) the doubling.
Running Time: 60 minutes (could be as long as 75 minutes if the director chooses to slow the pace);
Set: Originally produced on a bare stage with one mime cube.
Props/Costumes: Few props, such as fake knives, axe, etc.; simple costumes such as work coveralls and a mask; if doubling with a cast of five, quick changes will be required (for example, from from generic members of the sorority to specific characters in pyjamas);
Music is scored for piano and voices; has sometimes been arranged for a full band.

Copies of the script are available for $7.95 each.
Single Perusal Copies of the score are available for $29.95 each.
A Soundtrack Recording of the 2001 Cast of  Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical is available on CD for $19.95. More info here

Professional and Amateur Performance Rights are available.
Royalty Fees will be applicable, but the exact amount will depend on the details of each individual production.

To find out more, contact the author (address below).
Please include information such as:
1) Where your production would take place
2) When it would take place
3) How many performances there would be
4) How many seats there are in the theatre
5) Ticket prices

To Order Scripts, Scores, CDs, etc.,
or for information on obtaining the professional or amateur rights to
Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical,
contact Angus Kohm c/o Rubbed Raw:

To send an e-mail click here
Snail mail: Angus Kohm c/o Rubbed Raw:
205 – 21 Roslyn Road
Winnipeg, MB
R3L 2S8
Canada
Make cheques (or money orders) payable to Angus Kohm.

Shipping charges may be applicable, and may vary due to shipping location and size of order. E-mail or snail mail to find out more.

Sorority Girls Slumber Party Massacre: The Musical: a musical that has been seen at fringe festivals and on university campuses all over North America.