It’s time for #TrashOrTerrorTuesday
…when I examine a film that’s been languishing in my personal library to determine if it is #Trash or #Terror
– or more importantly, if it deserves to stay in my collection.
And so, out from the dusty shelves of #VHS tapes & DVDs comes…
An FBI agent and a biologist release a specially bred serpent to hunt the gigantic snake that has been putting the squeeze on unwary humans.
“Two Reptilian Killing Machines Face Off To Fight To The Death-With Humanity As The Prize.“
I don’t buy a lot of giant snake movies, so how did I get this one? I’m not sure… I also can’t remember a damn thing about it.
So, I guess I’ll put it to the #TrashOrTerrorTuesday test.
With a current rating of 2.8 on the IMDb, it’s no surprise that Boa vs. Python (2004) is a bad movie. It’s almost “so bad it’s good” – but not quite. It moves along at a fast pace, so it’s fairly easy to watch. But it does so at the expense of developing any interesting characters or logical plot lines.
Before watching it, I noticed that the keywords displayed on the front of Boa vs. Python‘s IMDb page were: “oral sex in car”, “oral sex”, “panties”, “thong”, and “sex”. I wondered, briefly, if I was about to watch a soft core porno film…
The two main actresses, Jaime Bergman and Angel Boris Reed are both former Playboy playmates, but only one of them gets naked in Boa vs. Python, which is a little strange. Still, there is a little bit of trashy fun in this movie. Unfortunately, it’s all in the first ten minutes, or so.
The “oral sex in car” happens between two characters we’ve never met before, and it’s sadly tame. No nudity, no graphic miming of any kind. One character simply slips below the frame while the other one makes a brief face of pleasure – and then the giant snake eats them both. I think the filmmaker might have been going for humour here, as the woman seems to confuse the snake for the man when it begins to eat her. Huh?! Don’t ask.
So what’s the verdict?
Boa vs. Python (2004) is Trash. It has a few moments of inadvertent humour – perhaps even a few moments of intentional humour. And like I said before, it’s fairly fast and easy. Many of the characters are annoying, and they make illogical decisions. Nothing is very believable. There’s a little bit of gore and action, but it’s not enough to carry the movie. A better story would have done it, but we’re stuck with what feels like two different B-movies fused together – one about rich asshole hunters tracking a giant python, the other about scientists and FBI agents using a giant Boa to track the giant python – neither one of which is developed enough to make us care.
An FBI agent & a biologist use a giant boa to hunt an escaped gigantic python.
— Angus Kohm (@AngusKohm) December 1, 2021